Some days, some weeks, some months, and really some years are unbelievably challenging. Just because there is something to look forward to doesn’t mean working through the here and now won’t be stretching – and at times seemingly agonizing and impossible. I’ll just come out and say it: I’ve had a rough week, but it doesn’t end in defeat and I am so thankful for that.
There have been challenges I’ve encountered since last Wednesday that I face regularly, yet somehow I am still “shocked” when they come up. You’d think us creatures of habit (humans) would at least take note of the repetitive challenges and obstacles that we face in this life, but this past week I chose naivety.
Yes, that’s correct. I said I chose it. I’m not proud of it, but praise the Lord He is forgiving and doesn’t waste anything. But instead, the Lord uses the details of our daily lives to reveal our hearts to us (and often others in our lives).
When it comes down to it my pride took a major fall this week (and really, it needed to happen). I definitely wish it would have happened in a different way because I was somewhat mortified and humiliated in many ways. But I realized that humiliation is connected to humility for a reason. This tough week has reminded me that my reaction to humiliation regarding my revealed heart before others and before the Lord is key to rebuilding.
Rebuilding strained relationships. Rebuilding my own perception of the Lord. Rebuilding motivation. Rebuilding my mind’s army against the enemy and my sinful heart.
I had an unlikely moment of reflection while listening to a Norma Jean song. If you’ve heard of this band you’re probably thinking how odd it seems that I listen to this band. I could explain how I don’t look like the typical fan of hardcore Christian music or I could share what I learned. I’ll leave my music preferences for another blog post :).
So, there I was listening to “Wrongdoers” by Norma Jean and this lyric completely took me by surprise because it was exactly what the Lord knew I needed to hear in my sinful sulking that day:
“We make love to the same mistakes and never get tired.”
WOW. Let the truth of the lyric resonate with your soul. It’s bold and it’s graphic, but it’s so true and if you’re an honest person and a believer – well you’ve experienced this very thing.
The lyrics before this line paint such an accurate picture of the moments we choose to worship ourselves and to worship our “go-to” mistakes and sinful behaviors:
“This is just a tragedy. Just another tragedy.
Feel the grave slide across my throat.
I’ll live, or die and then forget the trip, forget the war, forget the struggle.
Failure on repeat.
Drive for miles just to turn around and play it back again.
Failure on repeat.
We came for the killing. Hopeless yes we know but we don’t mind.
Blood to the bridle. Flood of red as far as we can see.
Careful not to cut yourself.
Unhand the knife drawer and please replace the moon with the sun.
I know it’s hell to hope the feeling of knowing destruction isn’t forever, take it or leave it.”
I know this to be true, but I often don’t live in this truth moment-by-moment:
I AM NOT PERFECT!
There’s a revelation, right? Not really because I’m still going through this beautiful thing called “progressive sanctification.” So with that I’ll leave you with a few of the verses the Lord used to comfort me as He humbled me through holding up a mirror to my heart. He brought me back to a common passage that will always provide necessary comfort and/or encouragement; whether it’s a great week or a stretching week.
Enjoy these verses from Proverbs 3:
vs. 7-8 “Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.”
vs 11-12 “My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.”
vs 13-14 – “Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets understanding, for the gain from her is better than gain from silver and her profit better than gold.”
vs 21-23 – “My son, do not lose sight of these—keep sound wisdom and discretion, and they will be life for your soul and adornment for your neck. Then you will walk on your way securely, and your foot will not stumble.”