Parking Spot Pursual

There is something amazing and beautiful about someone knowing you so well that the the mere hint of them thinking a thought toward you makes your heart skip a beat. That moment when you get a glimpse of them planning a surprise for you or you start to get a sense of something happening just because they wanted to express how much you mean to them – that moment when your heart smiles. When someone knows you so well that they spoil you in ways that would be considered insignificant to others. This is the kind of relational knowledge that we all desire to have with others because we all desire to be known and to be thought of in an endearing way at one point or another.

All of that to say, I absolutely love how the Lord pursues me. His pursuit of my heart is revealed in the simplest of things. He pursues me in ways that are seemingly meaningless to others, but He knows how to get this woman’s attention. He knows me so well and He knows just how to communicate that He sees me, that He loves me and that He has my life in His hands.

I mean who doesn’t love when they recognize that someone has been eye searching a room for them? Everyone loves to be seen, to be known, to be pursued for a closer relationship and to be acknowledged as special in ways that only you and that other person would be able to share and truly appreciate. Being pursued in this way by a friend, by a romantic interest and even by a family member, is a thing to be cherished and is often taken for granted.

I take the Lord’s pursuit of my heart for granted all too often.

Thankfully He knows exactly How to communicate with me and how to get my attention – all just to say “I love you and you are Mine.” The best part is that He can make even a parking spot a metaphorical glance across that room or a whispered “just because I love you and thought of you” gift left at your front door.

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I appreciate practical gifts and gestures, I mean they are my favorite. So when the Lord frequently provides a close parking spot for me when I come home late, well I just can’t help but grin from ear-to-ear and say “thank you, Lord.” Yes, it’s just a parking spot and it is kind of a ridiculous thing to write a blog post about. But it’s not just a parking spot to me and God and I like it that way.

It’s His love note to me on those nights when I come home after a long day and need to be reminded that the small blessings in life can sometimes have the biggest impact on our large anxieties. It’s His “you did it” hug on days when it was a great day and I feel like so much was accomplished. And it’s His “hey I am thinking of you, let’s hangout soon” text when I’ve been busy and haven’t looked in His direction long enough to respond to His expressions of love toward me. It’s even His necessary rebuke in moments when I’m complaining to Him about circumstances of the day or in this life; He will just say “hey, you have much to be thankful for and here’s a small reminder to get you to ponder all of the times I’ve communicated my love, my thoughts and my plans for you throughout this day alone – not to mention this week, this month, this year and throughout your life in general. I love you and I won’t leave you wondering if that’s true.”

Maybe for you it isn’t a parking spot or a common need being met, but it’s something. I would encourage you to pinpoint what gets your attention. Begin asking the Lord to help you see how He is pursuing you every single day. He is faithful and will always pursue His children.

“For the word of the Lord is upright, and all his work is done in faithfulness.” – Psalm 33:4

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Blessings Come in All Shapes & Sizes

I’ve been meaning to post this for a week now, but I’ve been so busy with work – which just happens to be the topic of this post. You see, I work for a company that I whole heartedly believe in and I absolutely love the people I work with. So you can imagine how excited I was to hear that

I get to keep my job when I move to DC!

Sure, my job sometimes requires long hours because we’re always trying to do the impossible and to set new standards within our industry. But when the going gets tough I try to remember how much I have to be grateful for in regards to my job and how truly blessed I am to have this job. It’s a blessing; even when the demands of the job don’t always come in the “blessing shaped boxes” I selfishly expect gifts to come in.

Here’s a cool fact:

I just celebrated my 5th year anniversary with this company.

I enjoy being creative and I get paid for it!  BUT I couldn’t have imagined (even if i tried) how the Lord would decide to use my time here as He has thus far, or how He would choose to use me and grow me in Him as I filled varying positions over the years.

God used the generosity and gamble of one man to change the course of my life. That man just happens to be the owner and CEO of the company I still work for today. His name is Rustin, but everyone knows him as Roo because that’s the kind of guy he is – obsessed with nicknames and breaking down barriers that are caused by stiff “professional” yellow tape. He brakes the mold of any CEO that I’ve heard of and continues to press the boundaries in a good way.

I could ramble on for paragraphs about how God has used Roo to abundantly bless me over the last five years, but then this post would be abnormally long – even for a talker like myself.  So I’ll just keep it simple:

Roo took a BIG chance on me when he hired me and I am SO HAPPY he did.

38061_415272151711_7511127_nPlainly spoken, I genuinely love this guy like a brother and I’ve learned a great deal from him. I wouldn’t be the project manager I am today without his investment in me as a professional mentor and as someone I am proud to call “brother” and friend :).

I’m not always in tune with the blessings of my life in the moment, but I desperately want to be a woman who acknowledges blessings in all shapes and sizes. So that’s what I am expressing in this post. I wanted to express how amazing God is for writing this story in my life exactly how He sees fit and for doing it as He has thus far. I also wanted to express how thankful I am for people like Roo – he is a blessing in my life. Lastly, I wanted to express how thankful I am to have a job that I enjoy a great deal and that challenges me to rise to the occasion of unlikely shaped blessings.

It’s a wonderful thing to be a part of something so divinely strategic.

With that being said, it’s time for some much needed rest before another day and week full of breaking records. This week will be full of necessary hard work, laughs, pep, tears (just being real here) and little sleep; but all of that will be a blessing from the Lord and will pave the way for great things to come.

Stay tuned for part two of my career journey and transition with my move to DC.

Humbling Realizations & an Unusual Song Lyric

Some days, some weeks, some months, and really some years are unbelievably challenging. Just because there is something to look forward to doesn’t mean working through the here and now won’t be stretching – and at times seemingly agonizing and impossible. I’ll just come out and say it: I’ve had a rough week, but it doesn’t end in defeat and I am so thankful for that.

There have been challenges I’ve encountered since last Wednesday that I face regularly, yet somehow I am still “shocked” when they come up. You’d think us creatures of habit (humans) would at least take note of the repetitive challenges and obstacles that we face in this life, but this past week I chose naivety.

Yes, that’s correct. I said I chose it. I’m not proud of it, but praise the Lord He is forgiving and doesn’t waste anything. But instead, the Lord uses the details of our daily lives to reveal our hearts to us (and often others in our lives).

When it comes down to it my pride took a major fall this week (and really, it needed to happen). I definitely wish it would have happened in a different way because I was somewhat mortified and humiliated in many ways. But I realized that humiliation is connected to humility for a reason. This tough week has reminded me that my reaction to humiliation regarding my revealed heart before others and before the Lord is key to rebuilding.

Rebuilding strained relationships. Rebuilding my own perception of the Lord. Rebuilding motivation. Rebuilding my mind’s army against the enemy and my sinful heart.

I had an unlikely moment of reflection while listening to a Norma Jean song. If you’ve heard of this band you’re probably thinking how odd it seems that I listen to this band. I could explain how I don’t look like the typical fan of hardcore Christian music or I could share what I learned. I’ll leave my music preferences for another blog post :).

So, there I was listening to “Wrongdoers” by Norma Jean and this lyric completely took me by surprise because it was exactly what the Lord knew I needed to hear in my sinful sulking that day:

“We make love to the same mistakes and never get tired.”

WOW. Let the truth of the lyric resonate with your soul. It’s bold and it’s graphic, but it’s so true and if you’re an honest person and a believer – well you’ve experienced this very thing.

The lyrics before this line paint such an accurate picture of the moments we choose to worship ourselves and to worship our “go-to” mistakes and sinful behaviors:

“This is just a tragedy. Just another tragedy.
Feel the grave slide across my throat.
I’ll live, or die and then forget the trip, forget the war, forget the struggle.

Failure on repeat.
Drive for miles just to turn around and play it back again.
Failure on repeat.
We came for the killing. Hopeless yes we know but we don’t mind.

Blood to the bridle. Flood of red as far as we can see.
Careful not to cut yourself.
Unhand the knife drawer and please replace the moon with the sun.

I know it’s hell to hope the feeling of knowing destruction isn’t forever, take it or leave it.”

I know this to be true, but I often don’t live in this truth moment-by-moment:

I AM NOT PERFECT!

There’s a revelation, right?  Not really because I’m still going through this beautiful thing called “progressive sanctification.” So with that I’ll leave you with a few of the verses the Lord used to comfort me as He humbled me through holding up a mirror to my heart.  He brought me back to a common passage that will always provide necessary comfort and/or encouragement; whether it’s a great week or a stretching week.

Enjoy these verses from Proverbs 3:

vs. 7-8 “Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.”

vs 11-12 “My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.”

vs 13-14 – “Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets understanding, for the gain from her is better than gain from silver and her profit better than gold.”

vs 21-23 – “My son, do not lose sight of these—keep sound wisdom and discretion, and they will be life for your soul and adornment for your neck. Then you will walk on your way securely, and your foot will not stumble.”

An Impression, a Podcast and Clear Confirmations

Don’t judge me, but I sometimes skip ahead and read the end of books or chapters to see what’s coming up, or to see how something ends – it’s so I’ll know if I want to keep reading. I know it’s ridiculous and I’ve missed the point, but if you ask anyone in my life you’ll hear that I tend to ruin surprises. So keeping true to the reputation I’ve made for myself I’ll “skip ahead” and tell you how this story ends:

I’m moving to Washington D.C. at the end of July

For those of you who like the short points of a story, here you go:

  • I had an impression for almost a year to MOVE; with literally no other direction.
  • I resolved to figure out what it meant and went on a “wild goose chase” for 6 months.
  • I finally let it go and kept living life as I had prior to the 6 month search.
  • About a year after the initial impression I heard this podcast.
  • I figured it couldn’t hurt to read the journey to DC site. So I did and I was hooked.
  • I emailed Steven &Tiffany and started the “what if conversations.”
  • After lots of prayer, lots of undeniable confirmations and an abundance of guidance and support from people I love, it’s become clear that the Lord is moving me to D.C. to be a part of the Redeemer City Church plant and to be closer to my family.
  • Here’s a twist for you: I get to keep my roommate. Yes, that’s right. To add to the craziness of this story, God decided to bless me by connecting my personal journey with my friend  & roommate’s journey.  But, I’ll let her share that with you (Read Emilie’s story).

Finally, for those of you who enjoy actually reading the details of the story, here’s chapter 1 for you: If someone would have told me a year and a half ago that things in my life would be as they are right now and would be changing as much as they have, well I wouldn’t have believed them. I wouldn’t have doubted the possibility; of course we all know that change is a necessary and inevitable part of life. But I would most certainly have been resistant to accept just how many changes would need to happen to bring me to the point of acceptance, surrender, release and joy about what was going to happen next. You see, I am a very critical thinker (too skeptical at times in actuality) and I’ve been told I rarely make rash decisions. So what I’ve shared above may seem out of character for me in that regard, but in fact I think it fits right into God’s MO in my life. He’s done this before. In September 2012 all I had was an unsettling impression of the word “move” from the Lord. I had absolutely no idea what it meant and so began my many conversations with God about what He was asking of me and why I had to wait to know. My soul wrestled over the need to interpret this impression. I wondered if I should move churches, move jobs, move apartments, move my furniture around, or literally move my body from where I was sitting. My failed attempts to interpret what it meant left me no choice but to surrender the need to be in control and to know what “move” meant right then and there. So I reluctantly let it go. It’s funny how when you let go of something you’ve been anxious about the Lord does exactly what He says he would: provides peace. When I least expected it the Lord used a podcast from The Village Church in Dallas, Texas to rock my world and to remind me that He wasn’t finished with that impression from a year ago. Wow, I’ve got to be honest and share that I didn’t see that one coming. IMG_9085 IMG_2841 (Some of our team over Thanksgiving) Now here I am preparing to move across the country (for the second time in my life) and I couldn’t have written this story as it’s developing if I tried. God works in mysterious and incredible ways.  If you don’t believe me, just wait until you read my next post.

New Beginnings

I have a confession: I’ve tried this before and failed. Several times.

The truth is that I am a great starter,
but I sometimes struggle to finish things.

Maybe I get bored with the process. Maybe I get discouraged by the end result not meeting up to my expectations. Maybe I miss the excitement of the initial planning stages. Or maybe I am just lazy and undisciplined. One thing is for sure, I enjoy the thrill of “new beginnings” a lot – sometimes too much.

You might be thinking that this is too deep for an initial blog post, seeing as I said all of this as a preface to why I am starting this blog in the first place. This is a type of “blogger confession” that I haven’t been faithful to other online journals and blogs over the years because life is just so busy. What a lame excuse for not doing something I love to do: write, share new ideas for the benefit of others and my self, and most importantly to declare how amazing God is and has been for intentionally loving me with the purpose of transforming my heart to be more like Christ in this life.

So this time I am actually motivated by a new beginning (go figure) that the Lord has been stirring in my heart for a while now. I hope to use this blog as a way to:

quote_cslewis_dream

  • connect with people from all over.
  • update my loved ones about things happening in my life.
  • interpret this life through theological lenses & metaphorical applications
  • provide comic relief & humorous perspectives on whatever life throws my way
  • share with anyone & everyone interested in reading about “life as I know it”

I’ve wanted to start a new blog for a while but haven’t had the time. Well time isn’t going to be my excuse any longer and I am beyond excited to use this blog to share some amazing things that have been in the works for me over for over a year. All I can say is God never ceases to blow my mind and He always does it in His timing. It will never matter how hard I try to make things happen according to my plans, I will always be unsuccessful because He is in control and will be glorified – no matter what I try to take control of in my life.

“God cannot give us a happiness and peace
apart from Himself, because it is not there.
There is no such thing.”

So here’s to new beginnings becoming long term disciplines.